


Stuck In An Elevator

by Black_Pannther



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Farting, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-01 16:33:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15147260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Black_Pannther/pseuds/Black_Pannther
Summary: Sam and Dean are stuck in an elevator. Dean has gas and Sam will go to any lengths to protect his brother from being found out thus causing his existence to come to an abrupt end.





	Stuck In An Elevator

“Damn elevator is as slow as molasses in February.” Dean complained as the elevator slowly jerked to yet another floor at a snails pace picking up a passenger from every fucking level. He was sure it exceeded the weight limit after the twelfth person got on. Yea he counted and perhaps that was the cause for it getting stuck between floors.

“Well?” Sam looked around, eyes slightly full of panic. He had a thing about being confined in small places. Especially when that small place was filled with wall to wall people and he could barely move his arms to scratch his nose. “At least it isn’t slow anymore because it’s stuck.”

Dean glared at Sam for stating the obvious. “No shit Sherlock and what gave you that conclusion?”

In response, Sam inched his way backwards pressing his muscular form against the far end of the wall to distance himself from the crowed. “Hey, where you going?” Asked Dean, his voice full of concern.

Sam began to pant like a woman in labor causing Dean to jump into action. “Okay little brother. Breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. C’mon, you could do it.”

Sam followed Dean’s instructions or at least tried until Dean decided to use visual aid. “Picture yourself in an open field. The small white flowers blowing in the breeze spreading their perfume aroma all around. Picture a babbling brook, the water gracefully hitting the rocks ending in beautiful white suds.”

“No babbling brook.” Sam protested as he began to get his breathing under control. “No water. What are you trying to do? Make me have to pee?”

“Point taken.” Dean smirked, rubbing Sammy comfortingly on the back. “Better?”

“Yeah,” Sam gulped in a large dose of air. “Much.”

Dean nodded at his little brother with understanding, his hand continuing its comforting strokes in the small of his back. “I’ve never known you to be claustrophobic before. When did this all change?”

“Since we got on this elevator.” Sam replied still mentally picturing himself in that open field Dean had painted for him. “We are stuck with a room full of people and I can barely move. It feels like the fucking room is closing in on me.”

“Well.” Dean gently traced his hand up Sam’s back until it reached his broad shoulders and he pulled him into a quick one armed hug. “Any time you feel a panic coming on, just picture that field… Without the water of course.”  
Dean very rarely showed him any type of comfort and affection especially the type that ended with a heart felt hug and he wanted to revel in it but before he could, that hug was taken away leaving him to mourn the loss of the warmth.

When he looked over at Dean in hopes his big brother would return the arm he just took away, he noticed his facial features relaxed of all the traces of all the shit they had endured, he looked almost as if…. Sam gracefully leaned into him, his shoulder pressed against Dean’s since there was no room for space, his soft breath fanning his ear. “Dean? Uhh… Are you pissing yourself?”

Dean’s head snapped back, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion mixed with slight embarrassment. “What? No. What the hell gave you that conclusion?”

“Well,” Sam cleared his throat bringing his fist to his lips as he did so. “Because your face looks relaxed as if you’re standing there pissing yourself.”

“Well I’m not.” Dean barked causing other people’s heads to shoot his way. Dean gave a nervous chuckle before lowering his voice to a conspirator’s whisper. “Well I’m not.”

Unconvinced, Sam let his eyes travel slowly to Dean’s crotch noting that his brother was telling him the truth. It was indeed dry.

“Are you satisfied?” Dean whispered into his little brother’s ear, nose gently bumping his cheek.

Without answering, Sam leaned his head back against the wall behind him. His eyes shooting towards Dean’s direction noticing that same relaxed facial expression and there it was, the smell so pungent, Sam would describe it as rotten eggs with a diarrhea topping and judging from the crowd fanning their faces murmuring at what he would guess to be blaming the poor victim next to them but he knew the truth.

Ever so quietly and carefully, Sam leaned over towards Dean as if he were going to whisper something in his ear but instead, he leaned in behind him, his long fingers slipping between the waistband of his jeans and his smooth, golden flesh. The dip so gracefully connecting to the crack of his ass. Pushing in fingers in further to where they slipped into his cotton black briefs, he pulled the material out away from Dean’s body.

“Hey.” Dean arched his back against the offense. “What the hell are you doing you pervert?”

“Checking to see if you shit your pants.” Came Sam’s retort, his eyes scanning around his brother’s two round globes but no sign of shit resting in his underwear. “Because dude you stink.”

“Oh and you smell so sweet like roses.” Dean said in somewhat of a singsong voice. “You know, I can smell some B.O. Coming from you too little brother. Whatcha do? Forget to wash your arm pits?”

“At least I’m not standing against the corner.” Sam spat, his bitch face was out full force. “Trying to kill everyone with your biological warfare.”

“It’s just a fart.” Dean rolled his eyes at Sam. Some times… No scratch that, his little brother is always overly dramatic over the smallest thing. Just one fart and Sam has him labeled as a cereal killer. Well fuck him, it’s his body and he’ll do what he wants with it.

Five minutes later and Dean gave a whisper of a sigh, a contented expression resting delicately on his usually stressed features and a ghost of a smile graced his lips as warm air passed through his sphincter opening, The heat of it so comforting, Dean couldn’t help but snuggle into it.

“Dude. Seriously?” Sam glaring daggers at Dean. “Must you do that in a crowded elevator?”

“What do you want me to do?” Dean argued getting a bit annoyed with his little bitch of a brother. “I can’t hold it in. Do you know what happens when you hold in your farts Sammy?”

When Sam didn’t respond like Dean would actually expect him to. NOT. “Spontaneous Combustion Sammy.”

“Spontaneous Combustion.” Sam parroted in a scoff. “Yeah right. Where did you get that info from?”

“I had a friend named Kenny.” Dean lied hoping that Sam was stupid enough to buy it. “He had this girlfriend and she was his first in every way so when he had to fart, rather than to embarrass himself in front of her, he held it all in and one day as they were walking down the road, he spontaneously combusted into flames.”

“Dude.” Sam narrowed his eyes. “You expect me to buy that shit? That is from South Park. You never had a friend named Kenny.”

“Yeah but it was a good episode.” Dean smiled at the memory. Oh, those were the days. What puzzled him was the fact that his way too smart of a brother would watch such an uneducated episode.

“And beside.” Sam’s voice broke him out of his reverie. “You can’t spontaneously combust from holding your farts in. It’s medically impossible. The worst thing that can happen is that you suffer from severe cramping and possible constipation.”

“Well thank you professor Sam.” Dean huffed. His little brother always had a way of trying to make Dean look stupid so now was the time to turn the tables. “But you know as well as I do that in our line of work, anything is possible and besides, how is constipation that much better?”

Score one for Dean. Dean thought as Sam remained silent. He had finally got in the last word. 

Another air pocket seemed to swell in his abdomen causing it to feel full. Yeah, he’s sure there had to be some truth to that South Park episode. It seemed the air was trapped inside of his body and Dean was afraid that if he pushed, the air pressure would blow out his asshole. Yeah, that’s all he needed was when or if they were ever rescued, the fire department, police or whoever the hero would be, to end up having to search for his missing asshole. He almost chuckled at the thought of his puckered opening lying on the elevator floor and one of the heroes yelling, I found it. I found the asshole.

“What’s so funny.” Sam’s sudden voice brought Dean out of his musings.

“Oh nothing.” Dean blushed, wondering if Sam could read his warped mind. “I was just wondering if they didn’t rescue us in time, would everyone become cannibals?”

“Ugh. Don’t even think that.” Sam grimaced, his eyes darting around at the would be suspects to start the cannibalistic apocalypse. 

“Sorry.” Dean mumbled, a quiet chuckle tacked on the end of his apology before he came up with the idea of releasing that trapped in air before it damages his intestines. With his right leg cocked slightly towards Sam’s direction, Dean gave a gentle push; the razor sharp sound reverberated around the confinements of the elevator walls. Dean was sure his puckered opening wasn’t so puckered anymore, the power of that fart had to have immediately pulled out the pucker from his opening leaving it loose and flabby, Before Dean could laugh at the thought, the sharp air slithered at lightning fast speed vibrating his balls.

Sam jumped into action as he heard the murmuring getting louder. “Damn lose floorboards.” Like that was convincing, then he looked at the big biker gang that stood against the other wall. They are probably the reason the elevator exceeded the weight limit. What were they, 600 pounds each? “If anyone has any tools, maybe we can dig into one of them and pull them out of the floor and climb down to freedom.” Sam attempted to add onto that lie.

“Or fall to our deaths.” Said the head biker, his browning gray wiry beard hung a couple inches below his chin. His black, leather, dusty vest looked like it hadn’t seen a dry cleaner since it’s been bought brand new. Sam wondered if that biker tried cleaning his vest now, would it disintegrate? His dark blue jeans stained with old mustard, there was what seemed to be a wallet shoved in the man’s back pocket connected to a chain that was hooked to his front belt loop. A thick, brown leather belt with a long cobra pattern and a square medal belt buckle of the confederate flag He had a red bandana, tied around his head, his short grayish brown hair sticking out from the bottom in thin, greasy strands. The man wore a tattoo of a naked lady just below his meaty shoulder on his right arm. Her legs were bent at the knees seductively beneath her bare ass. Her soft blond hair resting on her thin, delicate shoulders and she was wearing a cowboy hat. Her luscious thin lips curved into a flirtatious smile, Her nose had a small sharp point, one arm was bent at the elbow as she held onto the front of her cowboy hat as if she were trying to prevent it from blowing away. Her other arm rest limply behind her bare feet, her back arched giving a better view of her milky white breasts. Jared had to admit that for a cartoon, she was pretty hot. 

Just below his left shoulder was a snake eating itself and on the biker’s neck was a tattoo of Sponge Bob with his middle finger stuck in the air. Yeah, he was pretty sure he’ll never see Sponge Bob the same way again.

“WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?” The bearded biker who looked like he hadn’t showered in a month barked. Looking around glaring murderous daggers at everyone. “WHO IN THE FUCK FARTED IN A CROWDED ELEVATOR? I WANNA KNOW WHO OR I’M GONNA START KILLING PEOPLE ONE BY ONE WITH MY BARE HANDS.” He ended that threat with his fist punching the palm of his hand as that very loud fart began to stink five minutes after it was released into the public.

Sam gulped. He usually wasn’t afraid of a threat from a bigger man and that included bikers. He fought ghouls, demons, angels. Hell he even fought Lucifer and he won by throwing that bastard in his cage costing him his soul but he got it back. This was different, this guy was number one, human and number two, he had friends looking like the clone of this biker douche bag. Okay time to take this one home for the team, Sam raised a shaky hand into the air.

The guy was about to step forward when Sam’s quick thinking, caused the man to back away from him. “I’m sorry sir but I have intestinal problems. I can’t help it. I…” Then he looked down feigning shame and embarrassment. “This fart has sort of taken on a passenger.” 

Upon admitting to that, the entire crowed backed as far away as the confinements of the elevator would allow, bringing up the front of their shirts to cover their noses and murmured in disgust. Sam even picked up a few words, “Gross, Sick.” 

Dean stood there in battle stance about to fend off anyone who made the move to assault his little brother even if it were those biker dudes and that included admitting that it was him delivering the killer farts until Sam lied and said he accidentally shit his pants; in so many words, sharted. At least he hoped Sam was lying.

Just to make it more convincing, he continued his more silent expels of gas by pressing his fingers into the ass crack of his jeans and pulled his ass cheeks apart to keep the deadly fumes silent. 

People continued to huddle against one another as far away from Sam as they could get. Even those big bad bikers seemed to be snuggling towards one another. It was almost hauntingly adorable.

Suddenly a voice came from the ceiling. “We’ll have you all out in a few minutes. Is everyone okay?”

“One of the guys in here pooped himself.” Came the biker with the snake tatoo’s response.

“Okay. We’re working on getting you out as soon as possible.” That voice echoed throughout the corridor of the crowded elevator.

“Dude,” Dean whispered in Sam’s ear. “I’m running out of farts. If you really didn’t shit yourself, then you might as well do it or they’ll know you were lying.”

“I am not shitting myself.” Sam hissed into his brother’s ear. “You are the one who got us into this mess, you can get us out.”

“By shitting myself?” Dean breathed. Terror gripped his fast beating heart. “I can’t do that. That’s gross.”

“And yet you suggested it to me.” Sam glared at Dean. “So it’s fine if I stand here and debase myself in front of a bunch of strangers but you refuse when I throw that suggestion back at you. I might just let them kick your ass to teach you a lesson on farting in a crowded elevator.”

“You wouldn’t.” Dean gulped, half convinced that Sam would more than willingly throw him under a bus rather than soiling himself in front of people he’ll probably never see again.”

“I warned you not to eat those beef and bean burritos.” You could hear the tinge of anger mixed with embarrassment in his voice and was that a little bit of resignation Dean heard? “Now look at the mess we are in.”

“Sorry.” Dean mumbled sarcastically at his prude little brother.

Sam looked around frantically as the elevator remained unmoving. What happened to we’ll have you all out in a few minutes? Right now it seemed like eternity and it seemed as if Dean had quit farting. Damn.

Sam knew what he had to do so with a deep pull of his breath, he began to push, hating himself all the way.

Dean chanced a glance at his little brother, a flash of guilt flickered in his eyes. He could help but shimmy in a little closer to Sam, a little physical comfort usually did the trick for his little Sammy. This time when he mouthed the word “Sorry.” He meant it with his entire being.

Sam’s heart began to thunder loudly in his ears as he put more strength and effort into his pushing nearly causing him to burst a blood vessel right in the center of his temples.

To his relief, the elevator began to move; actual humiliation averted. Once the elevator came to a stop, everyone poured out whether it was their floor or not. The back stairs looked rather inviting at this point.

When the two brothers stepped over the threshold of the elevator doorway, Dean turned towards his little brother. “Sammy? Did you….” He left that question hanging in the air between the two of them.

“No.” Sam answered immediately, ready to put this conversation to rest and to never EVER mention it again.

“Are you sure?” Dean stared at his little brother unconvinced. “I mean because I wouldn’t judge you if you did. I know you did it to protect me.”

“I didn’t.” Sam bit as he glared once again at Dean. “Luckily, the elevator started moving again before I could in which I wouldn’t have put myself in that position if you haven’t eaten that beef and bean burrito gassing everybody in the elevator to the point they were ready to kill you.”

“I said I was sorry.” Dean defended, a smidge of humor lingering in his voice now that permanent psychological damage to his little brother was averted. “I thought pretty sure you were shitting yourself for how hard you seemed to be pushing.”

“Well I didn’t.” Sam huffed, the glare still aimed at his clueless big brother. “I had no shit in me so if I were to continue pushing the way I was I would have either pissed myself or farted. Both a dead give away to what really happened.”

“Okay.” Dean resigned, shoulders slumped in defeat. “I’ll tell you what, from now on, if the case we’re on involves any elevators, I will avoid spicy foods. Deal?”

“How about this?” Sam countered. “Because we don’t know if a case we’re on may or may not involve elevators, you avoid spicy foods while we’re on the job?”

“Fine.” Dean sounded like a petulant child but damn it, he was nice enough to make an offer to Sam and instead of showing any gratitude for his great sacrifice, he become bossy and demands more. You give the kid an inch and he’ll take a fucking mile. “But if I have to give up ALL spicy foods while on the job, so do you because when you eat one and I mean ONE fucking burrito, you get fucking toxic and stinks us both out of the car so you have to give up all spicy foods when we are on the road. The hotels are an exception because you can stand outside and fart all night if you want but if we’re going to be trapped in a car together, you stay away from spicy foods.”

“Even when we’re not on a case?” Sam gasped. Dean was being a little bit unreasonable at that point. “You can’t expect me to stay away from spicy foods when we’re not on a case. That would be unfair.”

“Take it or leave it little bro.” Dean smirked as he knew he had the upper hand. You give up your spicy foods any time we are going to be in a car together if you want me to give it up while we’re on a case.”

“Fine.” Sam agreed. A small price to pay to not have another elevator repeat that could next time end both of their existence.

Dean smiled in triumph. He’s been trying to get his little brother to lay off of spicy food while they were traveling together because his burrito farts were in deed toxic. That was no exaggeration and although that lesson in the elevator nearly backfired horrifically, in the end it had it’s desired effect. He finally got Sammy to quit eating burritos while stuck in the car with him.


End file.
